Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Sugar and Spice and Everything.... Else...

There is a new store in town!  It's a kid magnet and a Granma trap.  Mind you, I went willingly into the trap - even suggested the trip, knowing full well that blog material was behind those doors.  Of course, it would not be sporting at all if you went into the store by yourself.   Join me, won't you, for a trip to Rocket Fizz - the soda pop and candy store!

Rule #1:  Someone under 4' tall must accompany you.  For the extreme novice, you may stretch that to under 5' tall.  For the more experienced/foolhardy, you may bring multiples.  I will let you judge my relative bravery vs stupidity:  I brought three - 2 under 4' and one under 5'.  If the gender mix matters (and I assure you, it does not), there were two blues and a pink with me when I entered the store.  The more observant of you who counted noses in the picture, are coming up short a blue one.

This leads to rule #2: don't even think about taking pictures in the store.  I doubt the proprietors would object; I didn't ask.  But those among us with noses residing closer to the ground can really move - not necessarily in the same direction.  And they move with outstretched, grasping hands.  It's not that I had time to think about snapping a shot, but if I had, it would have been a blur - much like most of the adventure.  I had to settle for a picture after the fact, and I still couldn't round them all up at the same time.  Of course, by then, they were well sugared up, so that might explain some of the logistical problems.

Rule #3:  Sugar gets expensive quickly.  Remember penny candy?  Yes?  Then you are old, too!  It doesn't exist anymore.  Therefore, each child was allowed to choose three things - plus Pop Rocks just for Granma's amusement!  Oh, and a soda each - wash down sugar with sugar I always say.  If Rocket Fizz can lure in enough repeat Granmas, they well make a very good living indeed!

Rule #4:  Avoid the check out line at all cost.  I realize that is absolutely counter-intuitive and bordering on cruel after herding three munchkins through the gauntlet.  So since you will not be able to follow rule #4 and still retain the title of Granma, repeat after me, "No, put it down."  If that fails, in your sweetest voice try, "PUT IT DOWN!!!"  Repeat frequently and good luck!

Rule #5:  I am Granma.  I get to send said sugar deluged love bugs home to Mom and Dad.  It's in my contract, and it's one of my favorite clauses.  It's especially rewarding when their Dad starts a sentence with "you never let us..."  True enough.

Have I mentioned I love being Granma?

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