Tuesday, September 22, 2015

From the Middle of the Tall Corn

It's a Chicagoland thing - or maybe it's a big city thing.  Regardless, I got suckered in, which doesn't take that much where grandboys are involved.  On a beautiful early fall afternoon, Bryce and Tyler accompanied me to the pumpkin farm.  Maybe more accurately, I accompanied them.  Regardless, the three of us spent several hours enjoying farm life - urban style.

I might have mentioned it before, but I was born and raised in small town Iowa, surrounded by farmland.  I don't actually remember going to a farm to buy pumpkins, especially one where they also sold hot dogs, popcorn, Gator-aid and apple cider donuts.  Nor do I remember ever paying $15/head for the right to enter a "farm."  In my memory, going to a farm was free.  They would even pay you to be there as long as you worked - HARD!  Come to think of it, I did work hard at the pumpkin farm, even after paying for the right to be there!  You try dragging a 4 and 9 year old through a rope maze (first one to ring the bell in the middle wins - I lost), a tight-rope made from logs (did I mention a 4 year old with questionable balance?), a pirate ship (self-regulated adult break-time), a zip line (which might have been worth the admission if I was allowed more than one turn), a petting zoo (which we mercifully bypassed), a pumpkin launcher (which we regrettably missed), and a bouncy blob (where Bryce temporarily lost his legs).

The pedal go-cart races where a bust, largely because I was pushing a 4 year old's go-cart around the course.  Note to self: he will NEVER be allowed to drive my car.  There aren't enough years between 4 and 16 for me to forget his steering and braking skills or lack thereof.  Nine year old steering was satisfactory, but he needed help getting up the hills.  There was just not enough Granma power to go around.  Instead, we returned to the bouncing blob for a second time.  Here Granma-power is well coveted (even by those new friends who brought their own sit-on-the-sidelines adult with them).  With just the right timing, I was able to really launch them to peals of laughter and choruses of "do it again."

Needing a break from all the bouncing, we headed to the corn maze.  Being from the aforementioned tall corn state, perhaps I should have had some foreknowledge of what we were wandering into.  I detasseled corn for years, for Pete's sake.  You can't really get lost, though - the rows are straight and end at the edge.  We were forewarned by farm staff to have a maze map - check.  And that they always sweep the maze for anyone lost on Thursday evenings.  (Oh, good, only a max of five days of wandering.)  And please don't call 911 if you get lost - though they neglected to give an alternative number - like maybe 411 for information?
The map of our Nemesis.  We finally located the
bee's stripes to get our bearings.

Tall corn discoveries, in no particular order:
  • Certain 4 year olds don't like to get muddy
  • It had rained the previous day
  • Unhappy 4 year olds will add to the general dampness of the field to express their displeasure
  • Nine year old cartography is only slightly less developed than Granma's
  • Tall corn is just that - TALL
  • Wind around enough and ordinal directions have little to no meaning.

Forty-five minutes later, we exited where we entered and were thrilled with our progress!  We were each walking at least an inch taller owning to the mud caked on the bottoms of our shoes.  We returned, joyfully, to the jumpy blob for round number three.

In the end, they still love me!  Who wouldn't kiss those faces?!  I love you, Bryce and Tyler!  But I'm going to pass on the corn mazes until Tyler is driving - his father's car!


  1. LOL! I love it. You are such an adventuress, Lory! What a great Granma ~ your grandkids are so lucky. (And then, one day, they will have transcripts - I hope - of all these greatly-entertaining and informative blogs about their charmed and fabulous childhoods! PTL.)

  2. But I don't understand the photo at upper left corner ... ;)

    1. That is Bryce jumping on the orange and yellow blob. I love the way he just happens to be missing his legs and most of his arms in the picture. And it looks like he is jumping off the building! Maybe not a great picture, but it made me smile...

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.